Life is a never-ending series of decisions, ranging from small ones, like picking an outfit for the day, to life-altering choices that can change your entire path. Some decisions leave barely a trace, while others have far-reaching consequences. For instance, relocating across the country for a new job could impact your finances, lifestyle, and even your happiness.
Many people wonder how to make the right decisions, especially when even well-thought-out choices sometimes lead to unexpected outcomes. The gap between expectations and reality can result in disappointment, frustration, or even depression.
Decision-making is further complicated by biases that cloud our perception of a situation. For example, we may overestimate or underestimate the likelihood of certain outcomes based on friends’ experiences or sensational news stories. This can steer us toward irrational choices.
Another common challenge is the tendency to prioritize immediate pleasure or discomfort over long-term consequences. Who hasn’t gone grocery shopping while hungry, only to return with a pile of unnecessary items?
The sheer number of decisions we face daily can be overwhelming. The more options we have, the harder it becomes to focus on what truly matters and to process the influx of information. This mental overload can lead to confusion and indecision.
Despite these challenges, it is possible to learn how to make rational, well-considered decisions, manage doubt, and build confidence, even in complex situations.
In this article, I will help you navigate the difficulties of decision-making and finally answer the question: “What should I do when I can’t make a decision?”
Focus on what you truly want
Without a clear understanding of your goals, you risk focusing on secondary aspects and losing sight of what truly matters.
Ask yourself: “What do I hope to achieve by making this choice?” Pay attention to things that may be hard to quantify but are important to you. For instance, when choosing a place to have dinner with friends, consider what matters most: a cozy atmosphere for meaningful conversations or a lively, energetic vibe.
This approach is equally useful for more significant decisions. For example, when choosing between multiple job offers, think about what will bring you the most satisfaction: a higher salary, flexible hours, comfortable working conditions, or a better work-life balance.
Decision-making techniques rooted in understanding your own desires help you focus on what’s truly important, enabling you to make informed and thoughtful choices.
Don’t dwell on trivial decisions
Focus your energy on making important decisions rather than wasting excessive time and effort on minor ones. This allows you to allocate your mental resources to questions that truly matter.
There’s no need to stress over how well you handle trivial decisions. For instance, the concept of “decision fatigue” — the idea that the quality of your choices declines after making many decisions in a day — lacks strong scientific support. Even if you’re making ten choices instead of two, your last decision won’t necessarily be worse than your first.
So, don’t worry about being unable to decide on small things, like picking a flavor of ice cream or planning an evening. These minor decisions don’t require prolonged deliberation. Instead, free up your focus for truly pivotal questions that shape your future.
Make decisions as early as possible
Deciding in advance, before you find yourself in a specific situation, helps you avoid the influence of external factors and the overwhelm of too many options. For instance, going to the grocery store with a list ensures you buy only what you need, rather than leaving with a random assortment like three cucumbers and some cheese. The same principle applies to setting a budget before an outing or planning your vacation itinerary in advance.
Last-minute decisions are often impulsive, increasing the likelihood of regret. Planning ahead minimizes the risk of succumbing to fleeting desires that may later prove to be poor choices.
Advance planning is one of the simplest yet most effective decision-making techniques. It enables you to act thoughtfully rather than impulsively, leading to greater long-term satisfaction and confidence in your decisions.
Gather multiple opinions on important issues
Making decisions in isolation can result in overlooking crucial details. Seek advice from people with experience in the topic you’re considering. The more knowledgeable and objective these individuals are, the more likely their insights will help you make a balanced and rational choice, free from biased assumptions.
For example, if you’re thinking about getting a puppy, talk to friends or family members who already have pets. Learn about the challenges they’ve faced in caring for their animals and ask for their honest assessment of your readiness for such a commitment.
It’s important to speak with each person individually. This ensures you receive honest and independent opinions, free from the influence of others in the conversation. This approach helps you build a more complete picture, empowering you to move confidently toward the right decision.
Be mindful of your emotions
Emotions are often criticized for their influence on decision-making, but they are an essential part of our nature and individuality. It’s impossible to completely separate emotions from logic, so the key is to understand how they affect your choices. For example, it’s best to avoid making important decisions when you are grieving or after a heated argument with your partner, as emotions can distort your perception of the situation. Recognizing that anger might push you toward risky actions, such as aggressive driving, can help you avoid impulsive decisions.
Acknowledging your emotions and their impact on your actions is the first step toward managing them. Suppressing emotions is not only ineffective but also adds stress to your life. Instead, use the technique of reevaluation: reinterpret the situation in a new context. For instance, if your manager accidentally forgets to include you in a meeting invitation, consider the possibility that it happened because they were in a rush, rather than assuming it was deliberate neglect.
Another effective method is self-expression, which can be done through journaling or confiding in a friend. For example, after venting about a challenging day at work, you might reconsider your decision to quit and approach the situation more rationally. This balance between emotions and logic is particularly important in the decision-making process.
Use “Pros and Cons” lists thoughtfully
Creating pros and cons lists is often considered an effective decision-making tool. Many guides and articles promote this method as a universal solution. However, this approach has its limitations: our desires and preferences are often rooted in complex beliefs, personal experiences, and memories that don’t easily fit into a simplified framework.
That said, when used correctly, such lists can be a valuable tool. Writing down the advantages and disadvantages allows you to slow down and reflect on your values and priorities. For instance, if you’re debating whether to skip a friend’s wedding due to the high costs, a pros and cons list can help you objectively weigh what matters more to you — friendship or financial stability.
It’s important to remember that lists are a tool, not the final answer. Their main purpose is to help you gain a deeper understanding of your needs and motivations. When your actions align with your true values, the decisions you make will feel more intentional and fulfilling.
View decisions as opportunities
Instead of seeing decisions solely as a way to avoid negative outcomes, approach them as opportunities to enhance your life. Too often, we perceive choices merely as a means to prevent setbacks, overlooking their potential to brighten and enrich our experiences. For example, deciding to enroll in a marketing course or start a book club can introduce positive changes and expand your personal growth.
Ask yourself: “What decision can I make today to make my future more fulfilling and exciting?” By identifying a few options and committing to one, you won’t diminish your life — instead, thoughtful and proactive choices will open new doors and present opportunities for growth and exploration.
